Caffeine on the Brain
by Prospero Hibiki
Summary: Why should I suffer alone. I found this on my computer today and figured why not. SELFINSERT Gomen!


I've always considered myself a normal kid. I mean sure I knew  
I was unique; everyone is in their own way. I've always had a fairly  
active imagination and I guess that's what I thought set me apart from  
everyone else. I won't deny that I'm intelligent, but everyone who  
knows me will agree I'm not the smartest person in the world. The fact  
is that while I am amazingly intelligent everything I know is mostly  
useless information that will never help me in the real world. So you  
can start to see what I consider the difference between being smart and  
being intelligent. It's all in the application.  
  
If you want to know a little bit about me it's really quite  
simple. I'm about average height or a little taller (United States  
average that is). I have dirty blond hair that darkens as it grows to  
being brown. I've always thought my eyes were the most unique facial  
feature I have because they always express my moods even when the rest  
of my face does not. They go from a dark grayish blue when I'm cheerful  
to an ice cold blue when I'm angry which I can honestly say doesn't  
happen that often. Now however people tend to have their eyes drawn to  
the scar on the right side of my face. It runs from my forehead to my  
chin and where it touches my hairline the hair immediately above is a  
pure white. It's an interesting story how that scar got there but it's  
really not important right now. Suffice it to say that the lock of  
white hair is natural and not artificially placed there. For the  
longest time I used to dye it to match the rest of my hair but now I no  
longer bother.  
  
I have quite a few scars on my body resulting from the car  
accident that gave me the scar on my face. Getting hit by a Cadillac  
tends to mess a person up pretty bad. As a result my left knee is  
slightly weaker than my right and still occasionally gives out on me at  
fairly embarrassing moments, the most memorable of which was at my high  
school graduation in front of one thousand people. I've never really  
regretted the accident since I got hit pushing a kid out of the way at  
the time. I'm really quite proud of it really even if my friends  
considered me an idiot. I never saw the kid after that and no one else  
did either so who knows maybe I made the whole thing up. I still like  
to consider myself a hero.  
  
My style of clothes changes fairly regularly with the exception  
of my jacket and my cane. My jacket I made myself and anyone who's read  
my story Change will recognize the description of it. It's patterned  
directly after Shuji's jacket, buttons, pockets, sleeves and all. My  
cane is another story being about three and a half feet tall and mostly  
made of cherry. The handle is teak and has long been worn smooth. I  
picked it up on a trip to Hong Kong once and have carried it around ever  
since. It's secret is that it conceals a thin blade inside the shaft.  
I didn't even know that when I bought it because it's a rather complex  
sequence of movements that separate handle and shaft. Many are the  
times that I've felt safer knowing I could defend myself if it came down  
to it.  
  
Well I doubt you believe me so far but what I've said is mostly  
true. I've left a few things out and slightly exaggerated others, but  
all in all things are fairly accurate. And that's about it.  
  
I realize that you are wondering why I'm telling you all of  
this, aren't you? It's really quite simple really. I'm going to do the  
one thing I said I was never going to do. Okay one of the things. I'm  
still not going to sing the Barney Song and dance naked through Central  
Park at midnight.  
  
So that being said I'm going to do one of the things I said I'd  
never do. This is indeed SI and that means I'm going where no Fanfic  
writer has gone before, within the last few seconds at least. Welcome  
to SELF INSERTION!  
  
  
  
- - = - -  
  
  
Caffeine on the Brain  
  
  
Hell_frost@hotmail.com  
  
  
Disclaimer: I have no clue what is going to happen here or who  
I'm going to borrow from. But any anime character you recognize belongs  
to someone else and maybe some of the ones you don't do as well.  
Prospero Hibiki belongs to me (because he is me for the most part) just  
as Zooplat and Keith belong to themselves as well. Heck I don't even  
know if they are going to show up in this thing.  
  
  
  
- - = - -  
  
  
I was fairly bored that Thursday night after coming back from  
the anime club I go to and so I decided to go for a walk. My hair was  
tied back in the ponytail I had started using ever since my hair had  
gotten long enough. The stupid white streak was refusing to cooperate  
once again and so was hanging directly over my face no matter what I did  
to change it. It was slightly chilly being near midnight, so I brought  
my jacket with me and it went down to almost the knees of my favorite  
pair of jeans. My shirt was one just a cheap gray one I had picked out  
of my dresser but it went well with the color of the jacket and loose  
jeans. As usual I carried my cane with me, knowing if I didn't that I  
would fall flat on my face at some point. Even with the cane there was  
a high probability of me falling flat on my face that increased in  
direct proportion with the amount of embarrassment I could expect from  
such a fall.  
  
I passed several university police cars on my walk, even more  
than usual so I shouldn't have been surprised at the events that  
happened later on. What I didn't know at the time, and didn't learn  
till much later was that there had been a robbery up the street at one  
of the Domino's Pizza places. Kind of funny really I had a botany class  
with the assistant manager who was running the shift but that really has  
nothing to do with the story.  
  
The first I really knew of the robbery was when the idiots who  
were trying to escape chose to drive down the only hill in the entire  
city. We're rather flat here in Florida so I was kind of annoyed to see  
a car leave the ground doing ninety and come flying towards the street  
lamp I was standing near. Okay annoyance came first followed by sheer  
panic, and then pain as my knee chose to give out because I twisted  
funny in my frantic leap to the side. All of these things lead up to  
the situation I found falling on top of me. Literally. The streetlamp  
had apparently been loose in its foundations and fell over onto some  
power lines, which were now descending towards me. It only seemed  
reasonable that since I couldn't move my leg I should do something, so I  
did. I fainted.  
  
I woke up in a situation quite similar to the one I expected to  
be in, which is to say that I was lying down inside a hospital bed  
staring at the ceiling. I kind of got the feeling that I should  
recognize this particular ceiling, but I didn't. The room had way too  
many beds for me to be in the NERV hospital. But I got the feeling I  
wasn't in Florida anymore when I noticed that everything was written in  
Japanese. Now it needs to be said that I do know Japanese both verbally  
and written but there are just two problems. One I have a horrible  
accent. Imagine a horrifying cross between an Osaka accent and one from  
downtown Tokyo and you might have mine if you butcher the occasional  
word because of being partially tone deaf. It's really that bad. The  
second problem I have is that my handwriting is horrible, but that might  
have something to do with the fact that caffeine is such a major part of  
my life that I need it to go to sleep. (Yes you are reading that  
correctly. I can't sleep unless I have at least one soda's worth of  
caffeine before I lay down.)  
  
But anyway I was slightly distracted when I realized that I  
wasn't in a Florida Hospital. So distracted in fact that I almost  
completely missed seeing the nurse come by to check on me. But I did  
say almost. The nurse was ... hmmm I can't really say because I  
promised myself I would NEVER say the words I was thinking at that  
moment. Besides someone in a Saturday morning cartoon already beat me  
to that one. Suffice it to say she wasn't the worst looking girl I had  
ever laid hands ...I mean eyes on. Phew! That was a close one. Enough  
about the nurse, already! Let's try that again.  
  
Buttoning her shirt as she left ... ARGGHHHHHH!  
  
[Pardon us while Prospero savagely mauls his evil left hand  
which has been typing these evil scenes out while he was taking a sip of  
his 44oz hot chocolate. Remember if you can hold your hand steady while  
drinking it, you didn't fill it all the way up. "No, Prospero! Put  
down the pruning shears!"]  
  
Okay where were we?  
  
The young nurse started asking me some rather rapid-fire  
questions in Japanese about who I was and what had happened, some of  
which I could only guess at. At my request she went and got my clothes  
for me so I could look through what I had on me at the time. I sighed  
in relief when I noticed that my cane was still there as well as my  
jacket. My shirt and my jeans however had taken a sever beating  
probably due to electrical burns. My wallet was still in the pocket  
which I thought was slightly strange but I didn't question it. Looking  
inside I noticed one of the first inconsistencies inside immediately.  
My driver's license said my name wasn't Prospero Hibiki but rather  
Prospero...  
  
  
  
I'm an evil, cold-hearted bastard. I know, I know, I know.  
Stop, you're embarrassing me! Actually there is a real reason why I'm  
stopping here. I have no clue where I'm going witht this next. Hell I  
haven't even decided which anime show I want to crossover with!  
  
  
Ja ne everyone!  



End file.
